The division between men and women has been the subject of many jokes and much ribbing, particularly when it comes to each sex’s opinions on making love. Studies have proven that, as two separate wholes, men and women approach sex differently. This can cause serious rifts unless both sides are willing to communicate, learn about each other’s point of view, and come to a compromise. Sex should not be men vs women, it should be seen as an agreement of both parties. So how do men approach sex?
How Men Think About Sex
In general, men have more of a laid back, yet simultaneously hands on approach to sex. According to an article published in Current Directions in Psychological Science in 2003, men think more about and have more interest in sex than women.
Furthermore, men across the board tend to not care as much about being in a committed relationship before they have sex. They don’t idealize sex; they just like it and want to have it, simple as that. Married, not married, just met her last night – their relationship status with their sexual partner is just not as big of a concern to men as it is to women.
Another trait that men share is a greater sense of aggression, power, and dominance in the bedroom than women. Or at least, that’s how most men prefer to think of themselves. They are also less easily influenced or swayed from their preferred sexual activities, desires, or beliefs than women.
How Women Think About Sex
Women generally think about sex in a more emotional light than men. When they think about it: women tend to not dwell on sexual fantasies as often, and they don’t often want to engage in a sexual act as often as men do.
Generally speaking, women place more emphasis on having a committed relationship when it comes to having sex. In other words, they tend not to want to have it with just any random man at any time.
Women in heterosexual relationships are less likely to initiate sexual encounters than men. This may be tied to the fact that they desire it less often, or that they don’t feel a strong connection with their partner.
Another interesting trend noticed among women is that they are more likely to change their sexual habits based on external influences. For example, they may stop having sex for a long time after a breakup; they may not even masturbate for some time, either.
Is One Approach Better Than The Other?
This is a loaded question, and it’s not easily answered because we all come with our own personal biases. Men And Women Approach Sex all differently. A man, for example, might say that a woman’s approach is too emotional, whereas a woman may say that a man’s approach is too brutish and careless.
But neither of those things are objectively true. Neither one is right or wrong; it’s just the way the two sexes are, based on their respective common biology and hormonal makeup. At the same time, however, each side has to be willing to understand one another and work together if they want to have a meaningful sexual relationship.
How To Find Common Ground When It Comes To Sex
The biggest, most important way to find common ground when it comes to sex is communication! This is a big deal because without it, you won’t see eye to eye – ever, on anything, but especially not on sex.
Below are some suggestions on how to approach sex for men and women, so you can each feel happy and satisfied with your sexual relationship.
- Talk About What You Want In A Sexual Relationship
Think about all the things you want in your sexual relationship. Do you want to be dominant, aggressive? Do you want to do oral? Do you want her to sit on your face? Don’t be afraid to put your desires out there.
Just don’t act like it’s your way or the highway. You need to be sure and hear out her desires, too, and make sure you’re each willing to compromise on the things you do and don’t want to do in bed. Communication in the bedroom will prevent sex from feeling like men vs women, and more like men and women.
- Talk About What You Need, Too
Is there something you feel needs or doesn’t need to happen during sex? Maybe you need reassurance and compliments during the act. Or maybe you don’t want her to touch a certain part of your body because it reminds you of a past trauma. Communicate your needs to her so she’s not blindsided by them later.
- Confess Your Insecurities
Insecurities are hard for men to confess, but if you truly want a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, it’s a must. If you feel insecure about your weight, have trust issues, or worry about not lasting long enough due to erectile dysfunction– talk it through with her so you can overcome it together.
- Communicate Before, During, And After Sex
The word of the day is communication. All day, all night, before, during, and after sex. Keep talking things out and working things out between the two of you. Find what works and what doesn’t. You’ll make things a lot more pleasurable for the both of you if you’re both on the same page of your sex life.
Masculine Men Meet Their Partner’s Needs As Well As Their Own
Masculine men don’t just take and demand. They give, provide, and know how to approach sex. They make their partners happy, and they’re individuals. Don’t let yourself be stereotyped or think that there’s only one way for you to approach sex. Don’t compromise on your values, and remember to be considerate of the person you love.